If you had told me one year ago that at 24 I would have uprooted my entire life and career and moved to a city where I knew virtually no one, that I would be looking in a mirror in an upstairs bathroom, straightening my hair and listening to a bunch of goofy boys freestyling to jam band music downstairs ad thinking how happy I was, that I'd be talking to my mother on the phone and convincing her that I really did love a city covered in 50 inches of snow and never wanted to move back to my beloved South, I would have pushed my feet a little farther into the sand, looked out at the ocean and told you that you obviously didn't know me very well.
But apparently the joke was on me.
I think it is so funny to think about where I was this time last year, even 7 months ago, and how different the place I am in now is from the place I'd dreamed that I'd be. Up to the moment I pulled out of my driveway, I didn't really think I would do it. I couldn't leave behind my entire family, my entire heart, and go to some city that I had been once. What would I do when I got there? What if I hated my roommates? What would I do for a job? A bed? What if I couldn't make any friends?
I was petrified. I was leaving everything, EVERYTHING, that I had ever known behind on some crazy need to start anew. I couldn't do it. But I did. And I'll never regret it.
I'm sitting in Beardy's bed, listening to him and his friends sing everything from classics to improvised songs about Shakeweights while they strum lazily on guitars. Tears are literally rolling out of my eyes.
I pull my tank top over my damp hair and look out the window at the mounds of snow outside and count the days until Spring. My shoulders tense up when I think that I only have two days left until I have to go back to work, and the pressure of being an English major in an accounts receivable job. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't remember the last time I was this happy. And I think that is the most ridiculous thought I have ever had. Because I'm a Southern girl...to the core. I can't live without my family. I'm supposed to hate the cold and the snow and the business of the city. But I can't imagine myself anywhere else now.
I guess the point of this story is that you can't plan for things. I mean you can, but it probably won't work out that way. Things will change, you will change and you will find out new things about yourelf that you ever would have thought you were capable of. Your dreams won't come true, and I thank God that mine haven't. Because my dreams of yesterday would have led me somewhere else today. And that would just be tragic.
But apparently the joke was on me.
I think it is so funny to think about where I was this time last year, even 7 months ago, and how different the place I am in now is from the place I'd dreamed that I'd be. Up to the moment I pulled out of my driveway, I didn't really think I would do it. I couldn't leave behind my entire family, my entire heart, and go to some city that I had been once. What would I do when I got there? What if I hated my roommates? What would I do for a job? A bed? What if I couldn't make any friends?
I was petrified. I was leaving everything, EVERYTHING, that I had ever known behind on some crazy need to start anew. I couldn't do it. But I did. And I'll never regret it.
I'm sitting in Beardy's bed, listening to him and his friends sing everything from classics to improvised songs about Shakeweights while they strum lazily on guitars. Tears are literally rolling out of my eyes.
I pull my tank top over my damp hair and look out the window at the mounds of snow outside and count the days until Spring. My shoulders tense up when I think that I only have two days left until I have to go back to work, and the pressure of being an English major in an accounts receivable job. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't remember the last time I was this happy. And I think that is the most ridiculous thought I have ever had. Because I'm a Southern girl...to the core. I can't live without my family. I'm supposed to hate the cold and the snow and the business of the city. But I can't imagine myself anywhere else now.
I guess the point of this story is that you can't plan for things. I mean you can, but it probably won't work out that way. Things will change, you will change and you will find out new things about yourelf that you ever would have thought you were capable of. Your dreams won't come true, and I thank God that mine haven't. Because my dreams of yesterday would have led me somewhere else today. And that would just be tragic.
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