Have a Little Faith...

Do you ever feel like you're being followed...by a phrase? That's what I've been dealing with this past week; first it was the John Hiatt song, then I stumbled upon the Mitch Albom book today while in the library. It can't be ignored, though believe me, I've tried.

Have a little faith...It's so hard. Especially when things aren't going your way- when your heart is broken and you just want it fixed. It's hard to have faith in some guy that you've never seen in flesh and blood and to believe that he loves you and wants the best for you. It's hard for me to believe that about my dad all the time, much less a heavenly father. But I do. Like I said, letely I've tried to ignore it, because what he wants just doesn't seem to coincide with I want. And I'm getting mixed messages. But "have a little faith".... I'm having trouble ignoring that. Every time I turn on the radio, it's come blaring out at me, refusing to go away until I just do it. And I'm really thinking maybe I should just go ahead and do it.

I'm one of those people who grapples with their faith because I like to have control. When I don't know what's going to happen, I lose it. And that's what God is always asking me to do. "Just let go, Ryan. I'll take care of it." But God, what if the plan you have for me isn't going to make me happy? What if you don't want me to be with the one that I want to be with? What if I don't make enough money and you want me to live on the streets? What if you want me to be radical? It's horrible, I know. But if you believe in God, or any higher power, you know what I mean. You've thought it before. What if I know better than you do, God?

And that's what always gets me. I never do.